Tuesday, October 30, 2012

I'm not alone..


 I knew some people in the past that have had to go through fertility treatments. I don’t know why right now is any different, but it seems as though it has really hit me just how many people I know that are going through this crap and no one is alone in the struggle. Whether it’s in the earlier stages of infertility or their last shot being IVF. I belong to a few different message boards online to talk about and give/get support and advice for what we are enduring. Each and everyone’s story is special and heartbreaking. Whether it’s their journey for their first or their third baby. No matter the circumstances, the pain is the same. I feel lucky that, if I have to go through this, I’m going through it in this day in age. Where I can talk and relate to a woman 6 states away online. The day in age where IVF is a very successful option. Hard to believe that the first “test tube baby” is only 3 years older than me, born in July 1978. The technology is still quite new and has come a long way since then. Some may not agree with the technology and think that we are messing with and mixing Gods will and science. I feel God provided us with the ability to do these things, so why not? Regardless, if IVF works for us, I don’t know one single person who wouldn’t be happy for us due to how the baby was conceived. This seems to be the only way that John is going to experience having a biological child of his own. I can’t wait til the day he gets to hold one of his own.

Stims are going well. Tonight will be day 4 of meds. I went in this morning for u/s and b/w. All is well. They want to keep me on the same dosage and see me Thursday morning. I had a headache all weekend since starting the meds with Monday being the worst. Today I’m much better, but now I’m starting to feel bloated. I have increased my water intake, more so Gatorade and increased my protein. Gatorade and Protein will help prevent OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome). If I get OHSS, they will have to cancel the cycle as it can be dangerous. So crossing my fingers that I am doing all things right to help prevent this from happening. Lord knows I can’t take another setback. Keep the prayers coming!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Acupuncture and Chiropratic care

Not sure I mentioned it, but I'm doing acupuncture in hopes it helps with our IVF. It has been combined with IVF alot. They say it could be the relaxation, de-stressing and/or promote better blood flow to help an embryo stick and implant. Everyone I know personally who have done IVF and acupuncture together -  it worked! With the amount of money we are investing...er...gambling to create life, might as well go all out and make sure we give it the best shot we got.

I have gone once a week for about a month now. This week I will start goin twice a week for extra relaxtion and de-stressing. The place I go you pay on a sliding scale. You pay anywhere between $20-$40 per session. Whatever you can afford. For acupuncture, that is one helluva deal.

I really enjoy acupuncture. I'm in a giant room with multiple chairs. I have been in there alone the whole time or I have been in there with 5 other people. Depends on the day and time I go. It's called community acupunture. Having a session in a room with others is supposed to have a sense of collective healing energy. Somedays I can understand it, other days not so much. The not so much days come with snorers. What an annoyance while you're trying to relax. So the last 2 sessions I have brought my ipod which proved exactly what I needed. I have been so relaxed and really enjoying my down time.

I have been going to a chiropractor for a couple months now due to some back pain that I think was associated with my car accident. Found out that my neck is the bigger issue. I do not have a curve to my neck like most people do. Which creates alot of pressure.  I really enjoy going and actually take Morgan with me now to get adjusted now that she is in gymnastics. Apparently the chiropractors see alot of kids and alot of gymnasts. Rather her be in this sport well adjusted than to see her seriously injure herself.

While I was there for my consulatation, they mentioned that they also help with infertility. How they explained it is chiro care is more about the nervous system rather than the skeletal system. When you need adjustment, its usually because the bones are pinching nerves, hence the pain. Nerves is what sends signals to and from the brain. If the nerve is blocked, so are the messages it's trying to send. Chiro care is used to treat all sorts of conditions. Even though I'm not going for infertility reasons, I don't see how this could hurt anything. Only improve my health and well being. My plan is to continue through out pregnancy as that clearly does a number on your body.

I have an RE appt tomorrow morning. Will update but looking forward to start stims on Saturday. Only 4 more days away!

Monday, October 22, 2012

We're getting close but not without hurdles

It's been a month since I have updated and I'm not happy about that. I really want to document every step of the way. So this may be long.

Thursday, October 4th, I had a test called a Saline Infusion Sonogram (SIS) and a trial transfer. I had my doctor, a student, a doc who runs an IVF clinic in India who was visiting and learning how IVFs are done in the US and a nurse. It was a crowded room, with a warm spot light on my goods with 4 sets of eyes on the prize. AWKWARD! And to top it all off, everything was done twice so that the doc could show the student what to do and then the student would give it a whirl.

The trial transfer is where they insert a catheter into my uterus to see where they would transfer our future embryos. That went well. The SIS didn't go as planned. The SIS is where they insert fluid into your uterus and do an ultra sound to look for uterine abnormalities that could make it difficult for an embryo to stick. Well, they found something. Polyps.  I was speechless. I had no symptoms of having anything wrong. I thought I would walk in and walk out passing all tests like it was just something I had to do to cross off the list (literally). Doc told me that he wants to get me into surgery right away to get them removed. Like the next day! Everything happened so fast, I left there feeling sick to my stomach. I called John and cried. I felt if it's not one thing, it's another to prevent us from moving forward. 

Fast forward to the next day Friday, Oct 5th I was to arrive at about 11:00 for a 1:00 surgery....H.U.N.G.R.Y. I hadn't eaten or drank anything since about 9 the night before. They prepped me, knocked me out and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in recovery. Doc told John that they removed 2 polyps. They cut me a little with the camera so they had to give me a stitch. Not exactly where though. I had some bleeding for several days and was crampy on and off but was doing pretty well by Sunday night.

The week prior, John had seen his Urologist to provide a sample for an updated SA. We got the results right around the same time I had surgery. That was another blow. The results showed that there were NO moving sperm. NONE! ZERO! ZILCH! WTF?!  How can this be? He had surgery last December to repair what they believe was the problem only to watch his SAs decrease every month. The Urologist told him to stop Clomid all together. He had been taken Clomid for 2 years to help increase his testosterone levels which in turn would help improve the quality of his sperm. Well they think it's burning him out.

We had an appt with our IVF doc Tuesday after my surgery to sign consent forms for the IVF. We took his SA results with us to see if the doc feels he can still do IVF with his sperm. Doc said that this was a problem, but wanted for him to provide a sample at his clinic so that he can use his own lab to determine whats useable for IVF or not. A week later, John was able to provide a sample and the doc said that although it was very low, there is enough to proceed with IVF. That was the best news ever! I immediately called the nurse there to ask the next steps. She told me to continue taking the birth control and take my last pill on the 23rd (tomorrow) and come in the morning on the 24th to get checked out to make sure everything is good to go with my system and to learn how to administer some of the meds. I would then start meds on Saturday the 27th. I was so excited to have actual dates. It made me feel like this was really happening. A plan...that's what I had been waiting for.

I will be taking meds for about 7-10 days depending on how well I respond to the meds. So I am guessing the first full week of November is when they will retrieve the eggs.

Consent signing was very interesting. I think I signed my name more than I signed for our mortgage. Basically we had to go over all case scenarios. Things such as, if we have frozen embryos and one of us dies, what does the living spouse have permission to do with them. Or in case of a divorce, what do we want to do with the embryos. If we have eggs that are too immature or too defected to use what do we want to do with them. If we don't pay on the frozen embryo storage, what does the facility have permission to do with them.  Mainly the options were to either discard or let them use them for training. If there were any relative studies going on we could have opted for that but there were none. We chose to use for training in most scenarios except if the embryos are at the storage facility and we both die we had the option to donate our embryos to other couples and I honestly cannot bring myself to allow that so we chose to discard them. I can't imagine little products of John and I running around this earth that we don't know or our family don't know.

Just celebrated my 31st birthday yesterday. All I could think of was I was 27 years old when we first started trying to get pregnant. Just one month shy of being 28. Here I am 31 and still struggling. Crazy to think where these 3 years have taken us. I hope to have a baby before I'm 32. I would be the happiest girl in the world! As always, we will take all the love, support, thoughts and prayers we can get. We love you all and really appreciate you all allowing us to share our story so openly.