Laugh Until You Cry, Cry Until You Laugh: March 2014

Being Ivy's mama after such a long and trying road is indescribable. She has captured everyone's hearts in an immeasurable way.

She is such a good baby. I always hated the question, "Is she a good baby?" Of course I'm not going to say no. No baby is a BAD baby. I think there may be difficult or high maintenance babies, but not bad. But she is neither difficult or high maintenance. She really is a laid back, fun, and content baby. Yes, she cries. But really only when she is super hungry or super tired. And on the rare occasion when she has been in her car seat for too long.

Our first week home is such a blur. We were so sleep deprived. I'm not sure Ivy ever slept at night. Just during the day in which we didn't take advantage of and nap. She definitely had her nights and days mixed up. It took us 3 weeks to figure out what exactly she would sleep comfortably in. A lot of the times I ended up having her sleep on me. It was the only way we were getting any sleep. We thought that she didn't like to be swaddled. So we kept her arms out. We tried a bassinet, pack n play bassinet/cradle thing and her bouncy seat. I finally went out and bought a Fischer Price Rock n Play based on reviews from several of my mommy friends from my group on Facebook. She was a day shy of 3 weeks when I got it. She liked it. It's what she has continued to sleep in to this day. But she was still sleeping in 2 hour increments to feed round the clock while my mommy friends were saying their babies were well on their way to sleeping through the night. We were no where close to that. I was beginning to wonder what I was doing wrong. Why wasn't she sleeping longer than 2 hours?

Around week 6 is when she started to sleep a little longer. Like 3 hours here and 4 hours there. But nothing consistent. One day I decided to tuck her arms in the blankets we tucked around her. It was the magic combo! She just turned 7 weeks. That night she slept 8 solid hours! I woke up in a panic making sure she was still breathing. Unfortunately I didn't sleep very well. Not only was I worried she wasn't ok, I was coming down with a head cold that lasted almost a week. Ivy was finally sleeping better but I wasn't. John came down with the flu shortly after my getting sick, so we quarantined him to our bedroom for a week and Ivy and I slept out in the living room for a week. That was tough but it had to be done to keep Ivy from getting sick. Once everyone was over being sick, we moved back into our bedroom and I decided to try out her Halo swaddle blanket and swaddled her arms in. She continued to sleep good. Since then, she has been sleeping about 6-7 hours, eats and falls back asleep for another 3 hours.

Last week (week 9) I decided to see if she would nap in her crib. I bought something called a Magic Sleepsuit. It helps babies feel secure in a larger sleeping area, helps transition them from being swaddled and buffers their natural reflexes that sometimes wakes them up. The first time I tried it, she napped for 3 hours!! She hasn't napped that long since but still naps about 1-2 hours in her crib. So that's success. Now I just need to see if we can get her to sleep at night in her crib. I'm not sure if I'm ready for that quite yet. She's still my baby and I like to have her close. Plus it's easier to feed her.

Ivy was a very alert baby from the day she was born. I have a picture of her at home, 4 days old, looking like she was so much older than she was. She has continued to amaze people at how alert she always is. Like she knows "What's up" in this world already. Almost as if she already has an old soul about her. I believe in people born with souls of lost loved ones. I haven't said it but one time in passing but some days I feel like our little Ivy is maybe the soul of one of our grandmas who have passed. No one else has to believe it, but I do. I'm sticking to it.

Ivy was smiling pretty early on, too. Some people could argue but a mama knows when their baby is smiling more socially than just gas. It was inconsistent but definitely started around week 2. Even more consistent during week 3 and by week 4 it was definitely happening every day. And she graces us with smiles all day now. Such a happy baby.

Today she is 10 weeks old. And Morgan is 10 years old. Even though the age gap wasn't our plan, it was God's plan and He knows what He's doing. Morgan has been a tremendous help. Ivy loves talking to all of us but nothing is more sweeter than seeing both of my girls interacting with each other.

At Ivy's 2 month appointment 2 weeks ago, she weighed 12lbs 14oz. So she's got to be 13lbs by now. And she was 23 1/4 inches long. She is in the 95% for her weight and 75% for length and she has a very average head. This girl was in size 2 diapers at 6 weeks and she is already in 6 month clothing. She is a big girl. Lots to love :)

I return to work in 1.5 weeks. Where has the last 10 weeks gone? I have loved and cherished every sleep deprived day, every smile, every coo, every diaper change. She truly is heaven sent and I'm lucky to be her mama.

Now for the picture overload....

First time Harleigh got to meet Ivy. She was super curious

Her cute 2 day old feet

3 days old

Morgan spending time with Ivy

These moments...

4 days old. Doesn't even look her age

Daddy snuggles

My little polish baby

2 weeks

Smiling in her sleep

In her play gym for the first time

Catching big smiles at exactly 3 weeks

Big girl bath

4 weeks

1 month

6 weeks

2 months

This post is a bit late.

Ok, a lot late!

My baby is 2 months old, already! Obviously I have a very good reason on why I haven't updated until now, but I really wish I had done it sooner and more often to document all about our sweet Ivy's first 2 months. Now I will need to make an abbreviated version and do a picture overload :) Who doesn't like pictures?! This will need to be broken out into several posts so check back for more updates as I get the time.

Ivy Grace was born on 1/1/14 at 1:04pm - Cool Birthday, right? The best way to start the New Year. She was 9lbs 1oz and 21.5" long. Big girl! She completely surprised us with her size. Everyone told me that I was all belly. I was expecting her to be smaller than Morgan because I looked and felt smaller and I also gained much less weight with Ivy. Mo was 8lbs 5oz. So for Ivy to be almost an entire pound heavier blew us away.

My due date was December 28th. Sadly, it came and went. I was incredibly uncomfortable and anxiety hit me pretty bad. I wasn't sleeping at all. I also had noticed a pretty significant decrease in movement from Ivy. I had an OB appt the morning of December 31st. I told the doc that I was not feeling comfortable with the lack of movement I was feeling. In addition, I was having a lot of anxiety, no sleep and over all just over being pregnant. He checked me and said I was dilated to a 3 and was between 60-70% effaced. With all that I told him he asked me if I wanted to be induced today. I was like, "YES"! I wasn't expecting that. He said due to the decrease in movement, he would like to send me to the hospital for a NST (non stress test). He said after that, we can discuss it and if we wanted to be induced, we could.

We headed up to the hospital and did the NST. She passed. But I was still wanting to be induced. So we talked to the nurse about it and she said she didn't have anything written to say that we could be induced. The on call doc at the hospital was not on the floor for them to ask him. So they said we could stick around and wait for him or leave and call the doctor that sent us originally. So we decided to leave and call the doctor that sent us. We had to leave a message for him.

We decided to go do some shopping and go out to eat. About 2:30pm we got a call from the doc and he asked where we were at. He was expecting me to be hooked up and being induced right now. I told him they wouldn't induce because they didn't have anything saying we were supposed to be induced. He was very nonchalant about it all. He said it was too late in the day to do an induction and that I could come in either Wednesday (the next day), Thursday or Friday. I said "I thought we can't do an elective induction on a holiday" (hospital policy). He started asking some people in the back ground. I didn't want to be a bother so I just said "I can wait til Thursday the 2nd. No problem". He said ok I will see you 6am Thursday morning. And we hung up. 5 minutes later he calls back and said we can do tomorrow the 1st. He said" what are you doing at midnight? Will you be up and celebrating the New Year?" I told him I haven't been sleeping so I will be up. He told me to report to the hospital right after midnight and they will get me started on a low dose of Pitocin so I can get some sleep and then they will start bumping up the dose at 7am. I couldn't believe it. I'm going to meet my baby girl tomorrow! We waited 4 long years for this!

I made a call into my good friend and photographer Kari Carpenter with Touch of Love Photography. She was on stand by as we hired her to shoot the birth of Ivy. She was pretty close to being as excited as we were. Kari has documented our lives for the past 5 years. From our engagement, to wedding, to Morgan's pictures, to family pictures, to my maternity session and now the birth of our daughter. She's been through it all with us. Knew our infertility history and knew the road it took to get where we are. It was important that not only was Ivy's birth captured, but that it was captured by Kari.

We left our house right before midnight. On our way to the hospital is when the clock struck midnight. We saw people lighting off fireworks all the way there. Even though they were celebrating a New Year, we were celebrating a new life! We were on our way to meet the very being that we waited and hoped for since our wedding over 4 years ago.

At the hospital, they got me all set up in bed and noticed that I was actually having contractions on my own but I wasn't feeling them. They decided that they wouldn't hook me up to the Pitocin until 7am in case I would go into labor on my own. Well, I didn't. we got some sleep and they came in around 7am and started to get me all hooked up to Pitocin. I didn't feel a thing for 2 hours. The doc came in and checked me and said I was between a 3 and 4 which is not much progress from where I originally was. So he decided to break my water. That got things uncomfortable. I progressively uncomfortable with each contraction. I spent a lot of my time on my feet or on the birthing ball. I was trying to chat with John and Kari to distract myself from the pain. But the more and more painful they got, the less I could talk through them.

I decided that I was ready for an epidural around 11:30am. The doc came and checked me and I was dilated between a 5 and a 6. The anesthesiologist came around 12:00pm and got started hooking me up. John and Kari left to get something to eat. After they had the epidural flowing I immediately felt they must have done something wrong. I was comparing my epi to my first one with Morgan. I didn't feel one thing with Morgan. But with Ivy, I still felt quite a bit. I felt tons of pressure, I knew when I was having contractions and I still felt pain. Although it wasn't as intense as before the epi, I was very much still in pain. As soon as they laid me down in bed I felt "the pressure". The pressure of needing to push. They got the doctor back in to check me and he said "the head is right there! You're ready to push!". So basically within an hour I went from a 5/6 to a 10 and ready to push. She was already descended into the birth canal.

They ordered John and Kari each to take a leg and I started to push. I was making great progress. Just a few pushes and the next thing I know I already have her head out. I just heard Kari say "Oh, those Cheeks!". I must have had an out of body experience because after that is such a blur. I was actually told this by John and Kari later that Ivy's shoulders got stuck. They had 2 nurses take over and pushing on my stomach. I knew they were there, yet, I never questioned why. The doctor told me that he knows I'm in a lot of pain but I needed to really focus on pushing really hard. The next push I pushed her shoulders out and she was born...only 10 minutes of pushing @ 1:04pm!! Cut my time in half. I pushed for 20 minutes with Morgan.

Ivy was weighed and we were all shocked that she was over 9 pounds and quite lengthy at 21.5". I just labored for only 4 hours and pushed her out in 10 minutes. No wonder I was so uncomfortable! The doctor said that he thinks I met my max. If she was any bigger, he feared she wouldn't have fit. That right there confirmed I made the right decision to be induced.

Kari captured everything except the actual delivery. This was due to the hospital policy. She created this video/slideshow of my labor and after I delivered. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I watch this I cry. It' so beautiful and we will cherish it forever! http://animoto.com/play/vVRaVLkk168sIvmIPi9vXA

The last belly shot taken the day after my due date, 12/29/13. Officially overdue. I think my face says it all