I can grow veggies....but not a baby

I don't know where this post will take me but we are gonna just flow with it..roll with the punches, if you will. I know in my last post I mentioned that the next time we would talk about fertilityfriend.com and ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor. But I do what I want, and that's not what I choose today. I am here with the dog, a steak I just grilled and a glass of wine. Much needed after today. Funny I even say that. I feel I handle this stuff pretty decent, allowing stupid stuff to roll off my shoulders. But then I sit in silence and my brain starts going. Seriously, I need distraction quick! So what do I do...pick up the laptop and start writing. It's why I started this blog in the first place, right?

Seems as though there is so much to update on yet, I can't keep a thought straight. John is in the heat of his busy time at work. So he gets home pretty late in the evening and even started to work Saturdays. We are still screwing around with this damn family room remodel. It's so close to being done, but I have no motivation and when he gets home late, we just want to lay in bed and....sleep. Nothing else...period! Sooo...because of this temporary lifestyle change we have decided to put fertility treatments on hold.

UPDATE ALERT...Yes, we were finally told that we are candidates for IUI and they wanted to start me on meds for a month or two before the IUI. But I told them I didn't want to waste valuable months on meds, when he is working so much. Timing would be of the essence and to not know about timing would be really poor planning on our part.  The lady at the RE office told me that by taking meds a month or two before an IUI gives them an idea of how well my body takes to the meds. So I gave in and decided to go this route against my prior thought of why waste time, let's get to the IUI. I completely understand their thought process on it and I trust them. After all, they ARE the experts. But I have still made the appt in September to go over what to expect while injecting meds. Ya, they haven't written that book have they? I think I am onto something here!

So needless to say we are just trying naturally until hopefully the Oct-Nov cycle or Nov-Dec cycle. Morgan and I are flying to Kansas City for my birthday towards the end of October for 2 days. So if anything, this will be the cycle I can start the meds and not mess any timing up...hopefully. So IUI seems so far away yet right around the corner. Hopefully by Jan/Feb.

So that's the plan (clearly ever changing)

And this has been life with infertility....EVERYONE AROUND ME IS PREGNANT! What's new?  It's gotten so bad, that we can't even walk into Meijer to grocery shop for 20 minutes and not see a 9 month looking pregnant belly. To top it off, I just realized last week that our neighbor across the street is pregnant. Like she literally popped out over night. She is a rather slim chick, so when she was outside pulling weeds, she stood up and I walked by my window and it was like I was punched in the gut. Really God?! Really? I had the chance to finally catch up with them today and I asked when she was due and she said Thanksgiving day. Wow...right around the corner. They are a young couple, this being their first baby and they are fixing the house up nicely. Everything is going great for them. I'm very happy for them, but again, it sucks for us.

But good news, at least I can grow cucumbers and tomatoes! I was so thrilled that I was able to pick 2 cucumbers from our plant and eat one right away. It was the best feeling. Tomatoes are just coming in. Not sure they will make it to ripe stage. I'm holding out hope. I planted them a little late so I can't get my hopes up too high....hmm..sounds familiar :-/

Morgan starts school a week from tomorrow. She will be a 2nd grader! I'm so proud of that girl. Through out this summer with her being at her dads most of the time and this infertility stuff sure has opened my eyes. I am so thankful that God blessed me with her. I can't even imagine the past 8 years without her. Now just to bless John with one of his own. We want nothing more. Our anniversary is in a few short weeks. Can't believe it's been 2 years already. Happiness and sadness all rolled into one. Really wish we didn't have to associate our anniversary to how many months we have been trying to have a baby.

Until next time...thanks for riding the Gladkowski crazy train