Moving onto IVF

Hard to believe that my last post was shortly after my accident in June without an update on my final cycle for the study. Well, I think needless to say, the final cycle didn’t work either. I can’t remember stats but I do remember feeling like I couldn’t wait for all this to be over so I could go on a much needed vacation to Florida. I started July 5^th or 6^th and left for vacation on July 9^th. So I was all happy to be on vacation period free and free to drink any consumption of alcohol I wanted. No worries, I did not drink myself silly. Not even close. But a good time was had by all. Disney World, Sea World, swimming with dolphins, zip lining over alligators, watching Morgan swim in the ocean. It was all just so wonderful!

We came back and did not focus on getting pregnant. It was so nice not having to worry about appts, ultrasounds, bloodwork and repeat. We certainly needed a break. That study made me not want to go near another IUI procedure ever again. I was tired of the disappointment with the very little increase of odds. It might as well have been the equivalent of us trying naturally with poor sperm. Just ain’t happening.

We do have some news. Being that this month marks 3 years of trying to get pregnant, we have decided to move forward with IVF. The highest form of reproductive technology out there and the best odds of getting pregnant. I know quite of few people who have done IVF and it worked the first time. John and I had a consultation with Dr. Singh at the same clinic as the study. They have great success rates, the staff are wonderful and they participate in the ARC program (Advanced Reproductive Care). They work with clinics across the country to come up with predetermined, discounted pricing on fertility treatments to help make it more affordable. They also provide financing.

We decided to go with the package which includes 1 fresh IVF cycle and 1 FET (frozen embryo transfer). Basically, this means that I take a bunch of meds to produce A LOT of eggs – hopefully close to 20. They aspirate them out of my ovaries and inject sperm into each egg - this procedure is called ICSI. ICSI usually costs extra, at least $1,500 extra. But it’s rolled into this package. Yay! 3 days later they will know how many eggs were actually fertilized and developed into embryos. It’s not typical for all to develop. They will transfer 2 embryos into my uterus (yes, twins can be a high possibility) and then they freeze the remaining embryos for a later time. IF I become pregnant and we end up with a live baby, then the package is done and we do not get to do the FET. But IF I don’t become pregnant or if I miscarry, then the FET is there for me to do the next cycle at no additional cost. Ultimately, the goal is to have a live baby, obviously! And this gives us a greater chance at that with 2 cycles being offered.

We are financing about $9,800 for the procedure, monitoring (which includes office visits, bloodwork and ultrasounds) and ICSI. Then the meds on top of that is an additional $2,600 which we are putting on a new credit card that we opened with 0% interest for 12 months. Total out of pocket is just over $12K. Lucky for us, I have some left over meds from my injectable cycle I did last October. The leftover meds are worth about $1,800. The meds expire in February so that was another reason why we wanted to start right away so we don’t piss away that much money. Seems dumb. I did look into switching insurances to see if my insurance would cover any fertility treatments. Mine would provide up to $5K in meds (lifetime) but it would cost us an additional $250/mo for the insurance than what we are paying now. So in the end it really wasn’t worth it to us. Plus, if we waited til the beginning of next year, we would have either a Nov/Dec baby and I really didn’t want to have a baby around the holidays.

Where are we at right now with this cycle? Well, I’m just waiting for my period to start. Should have been today. So hopefully soon. As soon as I start, I call the nurse and I will come in around day 3 to have some bloodwork and ultrasound and get prescribed birth control pills. Birth control, you ask? I know, sounds completely in the wrong direction of what we are trying to accomplish. Birth control is given prior to IVF cycle to allow your ovaries to rest before running a marathon when I start injecting meds. I will be on birth control for 2-4 weeks. Then I start “stimming”. Stimming = stimulation of your ovaries with meds. Depending on how well my body responds to the meds depends on how long I will stim. Some people respond great and stim for 7 days and others may have to stim for 14 days. Once your’re ready, I will be put under for the procedure where they go in and take out the eggs. At this time, John provides a sample. As soon as they have both eggs and sperm, they get to work right away fertilizing them. We will get a report the next day to see how they are doing and then the following day. Some IVF protocols transfer embryos on day 3 or day 5. I believe this clinic does it on day 3. They will grade the eggs A,B,C. A being the best, they will implant the very best 2. Then they do a blood test 2 weeks later. If all goes as well as I think it will, I will know if I’m pregnant by Thanksgiving. And will have a due date in July/August. Close to Morgan’s bday!

I can’t believe this is really happening. We need all the thoughts, prayers and support we can get. I will try to be very diligent with updating this blog as I want as much of this process documented as possible.

Fail # 3 is just the beginning to a shitty week

AF showed up Sunday, June 10. I had some major cramping on my way to work Friday morning, June 8th. When I got to work, I rushed to the bathroom thinking I had started. Nope. I went all day rushing to the bathroom only to find nothing. I could have sworn I was for sure going to start Saturday morning. Nothing. So Sunday morning when I woke up to nothing again, I decided to whip out an HPT and test for the first time in over 2 years. It was stark white...I hate the feeling of being let down by a stupid stick because you have hope when you're testing. I stopped testing monthly in February 2010. I told myself I couldn't do that to myself anymore. So, believe it or not, it was easier to see AF show up, than to test like a crazy person and waste so much money. AF showed up a few hours after I tested.

My first appointment for the 4th and final cycle with the study was Monday, June 11 where I got my meds, ultrasound and bloodwork. They gave me an extra pill to take each day. So I took 3 pills for 5 days instead of 2 pills for 5 days.

 Fast forward to Friday which would be day 4 of meds. We were woken up early that morning by a phone call to inform us John's Grandma Gladkowski passed away. We knew it was going to happen soon, but it doesn't make it any easier. After work, my friend Cassandra and I went to Ann Arbor to meet up with our friend Kari for dinner. I drove Cassandra there and back. On our way back about 11:15 pm, I came to an intersection about 3 min from my house. It was a blinking red. I thought the other way also had a blinking red. I was wrong. Cassandra pointed to the car that was heading straight for us. I slammed on the breaks, but it was too late. They hit us on the passenger front right corner panel. Basically right at my front wheel. There was a cop that was just over the hill who heard the crash. He was there in no time. I called John and he was there quickly too.Cassandra had chest pains and my head hurt. I was taken to the hospital in an ambulance while Cassandra said she was fine. But on the way to the hospital with John, she started to feel nauseous and got herself checked out at the ER. They did chest x rays on her and a CTscan on my head. We both checked out fine. Just banged up and bruised. The seatbelt did a number to Cassandra's chest and the door provided a nice bruise on her arm. My seatbelt buckle did a number on my hip. The center console bruised up both of my legs. There were 3 teenage boys in the other car (Ford Edge) who all were fine. The biggest injury was a cut on a lip. Apparently they thought it was all cool and fun, laughing and joking, taking pictures and video. Later John told me he wanted to beat the crap outta them for that. At the time, they were laughing and such while his wife was in an ambulance. I was just so happy that they were ok since the accident was my fault.

The next morning, which was John's bday, I got up and I was incredibly sore. I found new bruises and new areas of soreness. I started reflecting on the accident and how everything happened. I'm pretty sure I hit my head on Cassandra's shoulder and that's why I had such head pain. The feeling I experienced after hitting my head was the scariest thing. I may have even blacked out for a nano second. When I was coming to, I was so disoriented and fuzzy. I called insurance, I went to see my car at the tow yard to get some things out of the car, and to the rental car place to get a rental. I also called the study coordinator about what happened. Because of the accident, I missed a day of my meds. They asked if I wanted to cancel the cycle and pick back up next month. I told them I couldn't because I was going on vacation and wouldn't be able to start the next cycle. So they had me take 2 doses in one day and come in as normal the following Tuesday. I did find out that my car is repairable. $9,000 in damages!! I just got it in February and I love it so much. If it was considered totaled, We would have had to put thousands towards the loan payoff. My hip is still giving me the biggest issue. I can walk without limping now, but  I have to be careful how I put weight on my leg/hip or it gives me alot of pain. Almost as if something slips or pops out.

Funny thing about the car insurance. We JUST switched car insurance and it went into effective Thursday June, 14. My accident was the very next day. Luckily the switch in insurance was a blessing because it's better and cheaper. It provides us with one accident forgiveness and therefore our insurance premiums won't go up. How lucky did I get?!

This week, I had 3 study appts in a row. Tues, Wed, and today. They asked me today if I wanted to cancel due to having 4 maybe 5 follicles that may release in case I was worried about multiples. Because John's count is low, I'm not worried about multiples. We haven't gotten pregnant once so far, so I'm not worried. I have to give myself the trigger shot tonight and our IUI is Saturday morning.

All of this craziness...all I can think of and look forward to is our Florida vacation. Below are some pics of the accident and my gnarly bruises ;-)


This is the other car

 After the initial hit, my back end swung around and hit their back door

 My car

 The back end of my car that hit their back door

 Right calf 2 days after accident

 Right hip 2 days after accident

 Right calf 3 days after accident

 Both legs 3 days after accident

 Left leg 5 days after accident

 Right calf 5 days after accident

 Right hip 5 days after accident

IUI Cycle # 3

Forgive me for my lack of posts. The rest cycle was exactly what I needed. Just relaxing and not worrying about the trying to conceive world. In fact it was needed also due to the approaching deadline we had at work. It certainly kept my mind busy. Plus we have started some major projects to the yard and landscaping at home. This has been an exciting couple months for us. Never thought I would be this elated over landscape design. My cycle started May 12. Got into the office on the 14th and started meds on the 15th. This is later than I usually start but I couldn’t get in any earlier. So I started meds on day 5 vs. the usual day 3. Because of this, the whole cycle was a bit delayed but it wasn’t terrible. I responded very well to the meds again having several sizable follicles on my right and one on my left. IUI was Sunday May 27th and we are now in the 2 week wait. I have already gone in for my mid 2 week wait appt for blood work and ultrasound yesterday which showed fluid in my left AND right tubes which indicates that I released eggs on both sides. So now I just either way til my period starts or my next appt for bloodwork for pregnancy test on Monday June, 11. I have to be honest, I really have no faith in this study anymore. I really don’t think IUIs will work with us with John’s sperm numbers and quality. They keep getting worse every month. First month was 2 million, the next month was .5 million and this month was .2 million. Like I have said before, it sounds like a lot but that is considered almost non-existent compared to the 10s of millions of sperm men should have. At this point, I’m ready for this study to be over. I’m tired of the appts and knowing in the pit of my stomach that this isn’t for us. I’m just going through the motions really. We have one more try after this time and then we will be done with the study. Just in time for our trip to Florida to visit my mother in law for a week. I’m so excited to have a REAL vacation. It’s been too long since we have had a week of nothing but vacation to do what we want. The last time we took a week off was for our wedding and we didn’t even go on a honeymoon. It was far from relaxing as you can imagine. We plan on taking Morgan to DisneyWorld for a day, Sea World, an Alligator farm, zoo and much more. You should hear from me within the next week for an update.

Fail #2 - onto a rest cycle

AF showed up on Monday April 16. I went in for my scheduled appt April 17 for my routine blood draw just to make sure I'm not pregnant. John and I have decided to take a month to rest from the drugs and appts. As you can imagine, it can get overwhelming. John had his 3 month post surgery follow up appt at the Urologist. They took a look at his SA and said it's pretty much the same as October. This is better news than I would have thought. I was thinking it would get worse before it got better. So here's to hoping it only gets better from here. He goes back in another 3 months. We will return to the study as soon as my next cycle starts. Until then...

Research Study IUI cycle #2

It's been since finding out that cycle #1 didn't work that I've felt like updating. I think I took it a little better than I anticipated although it's still very sad.

Cycle #2 feels a little more promising to me for some reason. I had great response to the meds again. Had 4 maybe 5 mature follicles at the time of trigger shot which was 4/1. IUI was the morning of 4/3 and a little more painful this time. I think due to the girl being more inexperienced than the first lady.

I was most upset at John's numbers. They were extremely low with very low motility. Basically it showed that we only had 10,000 good sperm. It sounds like a high number unless you know how much men really should have. We are talking millions and millions they should have. But I have read that woman have gotten pregnant with those numbers so I can't rule this cycle out quite yet. Although our chances are more slim than the average couple, stranger things have happened. We are also thinking that maybe his vericocele vein surgery may have something to do with it. It's been 3 months since the surgery and it takes 3 months for sperm to regenerate. So if any trauma or sickness happens, usually it takes about 3 months to show any change in a man's sperm count and quality.

Today I am 10pdiui (dpiui=days past iui). I go in on Tuesday 4/17 for my pregnancy bloodtest. That is, if I make it that far. Last cycle I started my cycle before the testing day. I have a busy weekend ahead of me so the time should fly by. Keep the prayers coming. Lord knows we need it! Thanks again for everyone's support :)

Onto the next cycle

AF showed up this morning. Don’t really feel like talking about it. So we move onto the next cycle. I always said that I didn’t want to have a December baby, but at this point, I don’t care. I just want a healthy baby to hold. I am waiting to hear back from the study coordinator on whether I still go in tomorrow for bloodwork or if me starting my period changes things up a bit. I still feel blessed that we have 3 more chances at this without paying a dime out of pocket. I really don’t have a choice but to keep my chin up and move forward.

Off topic, today marks 5 years of John’s dad’s passing. I was really hoping that this month we would conceive so that it would be like his dad blessing us in a way. But it’s ok. I know he is still looking down on us, rooting us on ;-)

In the 2ww of our first IUI

I want to be better at blogging our every move through this journey but it’s other parts of our life that pulls me away.

Just an update on our appointments so far during our first IUI cycle with the research study. I responded really well to the meds given to me. I had several maturing follicles. A few that were actually sizable for the IUI. So far I have had 6 appointments this cycle and I have 2 more to go. Each and every time I have had to have bloodwork (b/w) done and majority of them including an ultrasound (u/s). I went in on Monday March 5 for u/s and b/w. Found out that my body was gearing up to ovulate on it’s own. So they had me come in Tuesday morning for more b/w and u/s to make sure that I hadn’t ovulated yet. If I was starting to, they would have to cancel the IUI and this cycle would have been a bust. But my body hadn’t yet, so they gave me the HCG trigger shot Tuesday morning and then I returned Wednesday morning for the IUI. John had to arrive at 7:30am and I came in at 9:30am. All went well and now we are in what’s called the 2 week wait (aka 2ww). Tomorrow I go in for b/w and u/s to confirm that I did ovulate and check my hormone levels. They do not check pregnancy at this appointment as it would be too soon. Then I go back the following Wednesday, March 21st for b/w and that’s when I will find out the results. EEEEK…. I can’t believe I have to wait a whole other week.

I’m doing fine. I have positive days and not so positive days. The days I'm positive I think we have gone through so much, why wouldn't this work and maybe this is exactly what we needed. Why else did this research study fall into our lap? The other days I figured the IUI didn't work because why would it? If we have been trying for over 2 years now, why would this simple procedure be the answer to our prayers? The odds and success rates aren't that great, so why would it work for us? But I really am trying to overcome those feelings and just take it all in stride. I’m a bit anxious and calm at the same time. Make sense? HA! Will try to update after appointment tomorrow.