It’s been a while (again) since my last update. Obviously the medicated cycle did not work. I kinda shut down about it and trying not to think much about having a baby right now. I feel with the approaching holidays, it’s the last thing I want on my mind.
John had an appointment with a new Urologist on October 20th while Morgan and I were in Kansas City. This Urologist had a completely different opinion than the first Urologist. A while back, John had an ultrasound that showed he had a vericocele vein. A vericocele vein is like a varicose vein in the male genitalia. Basically the extra blood flow that it causes creates heat. Heat is not good for sperm. So in turn, these kill off or deform the sperm that he is producing. The first doc told him that he isn’t worried too much about it because John’s count is still good and that he is still so young yet that he didn’t recommend getting the surgery to fix it. So we trusted him. Well, fast forward 18 months, this new doc has told him that John is a poster child of someone who needs this surgery. He said with John’s semen analysis results, we would not be able to get pregnant, not even with an IUI. I’m sure the doc didn’t say this, but in other words, John is infertile. It was really hard to hear John explaining all of this over the phone while I was hundreds of miles away. I could tell he was really upset and angry with the first doc. As was I. We felt very discouraged and mislead. We felt we wasted over a year of trying due to the guidance of this doctor. We could have had this surgery done long time ago and we could be pregnant right now. Sperm reproduce every 3 months. So after his surgery, we won’t really know any results for 3 months. Maybe another 6 months. He has a follow up appt with this Urologist today and hopes to make the surgery appt within the next month. He will need to lay low for a couple days to recup.
Because of all of this information, we have decided not to move forward with anymore medicated cycles or the IUI until after his surgery and after 3 months or so. It would just be a waste of insurance coverage.
Despite the bad news on my vacation, I did manage to have a great 30th birthday thanks to some amazing KC friends :)
John and I have sat down and seriously talked about how far we want to go to have a baby. We have determined that we only want a biological child. No adoption or sperm donation. And IVF is still undetermined. It’s just a lot of money and it’s not guaranteed. I cannot fathom the thought to pay $10-$15K at a “chance” to have a baby for it not to work. I simply can’t wrap my mind around it. I am happy that we had this discussion though because I need to prepare myself that this just might not happen for us and we have to be happy with the family we have. I asked how long do you want to try and he said not over the age of 40. Well I said I didn’t want to past the age of 35. By that time, Morgan will be a teenager. I don’t think I am going to want to start all over. It hurts me right now to think that I possibly could have kids over 10 years apart.
A bunch of babies are about to arrive over the next 4 months. I know a couple people due this month, a couple next month, a couple in January and a couple in February. Sad and happy times approaching. Wish us luck as we embark on this heavy hearted time and pray for John and his upcoming surgery. I will try to update about his surgery after it’s done. Love to all!
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