Beta 649!! Ultrasound, here we come!

3rd and final beta number was 649!! Doubled nicely from 311. I'm over the moon thrilled that things have started off nicely. I scheduled my ultrasound for next week, Thursday, December 6th at 10:15am. I will be 5 weeks and 5 days pregnant. Just shy of 6 weeks. We should see at least a gestational sac. We may or may not see/hear a heartbeat yet. Could be too soon. I think the clinic will do one more ultrasound 2 weeks later to make sure everything is still progressing  and then I will be released to my regular OBGYN. And just for kicks here is a picture of some of my pregnancy tests lol You don't have to tell me I'm a little crazy...I already know this. But if you have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years and never saw 2 lines or the word pregnant, you would want to pee on tests all day long. It's an amazing feeling!

And here is what Mo made for John and I. Isn't she the absolute sweetest?! I love my daughter sooo much!

PREGNANT!! OMFG...IT WORKED!

Title says it all! I’m pregnant – IVF worked! I’m still shocked that I can actually say I’m pregnant!

Our beta bloodtest was Monday. I wanted to test the day before so that I knew. They were going to call me at work with the results and if it was negative, I wanted to get my crying out on Sunday rather than at work. I got up at 5am to go pee. I have been getting up to pee A LOT in the past couple weeks. I took a dollar store brand test and I didn’t see anything really come up. I was bumming and was really trying to think of a way to break the news to John that it didn’t work. I went to let the dog out and I came back to the bathroom and I think I see something. I’m pretty sure I see a second faint line. I start pacing. I go out of the bathroom where I meet John in the hallway. I showed him the test and said I think I see something. So I took another dollar test and it came up the same. Now I’m freaking! I told John that I needed to go out and buy some real legit tests. He said ok, assuming I meant later in the day. Are you kidding?! I could be pregnant right now and I need to know RIGHT NOW! So I hop in my car at 5:30am to head to the nearest 24 hours CVS on snow covered roads. I was going a little faster than I should praying to God that this worked and that I wasn’t just losing my mind. I’m assuming the CVS lady who checked me out has seen someone like me coming in the wee hours in the morning to pick up a pack of pregnancy tests…right? I mean, I can’t be the only crazy out there…I make it home and tear that box open like a 5 year old dives into a new box of cereal. It actually was pissing me off because the wrap around the test is so thick and difficult. So I take the test and stare at it…I see a second line emerge immediately. NO WAY!! I run down the hall to John where he is playing video games (I’m sure to take his mind of my craziness) and I showed it to him and said “It’s real, It’s legit!”. He smiled and gave me a high five LOL….so romantic, I know. Be jealous. I did get a hug and kiss later.

Our reactions were not near as what I thought they would be when we found out we were pregnant after this long road. We have been hurt so much in the past 3 years, I guess we have had this guard up. We both are very cautiously optimistic. I spent the whole day staring at my test and googling stuff about pregnancy tests, beta numbers and all sorts of pregnancy related things. We went grocery shopping and I threw 2 more boxes of tests in the cart and John asked why I needed those. I told him to not ask any questions. He was smart to comply.  We came home and I took a digital test. One that comes up with the word “pregnant”. It came up right away!

Next morning I head into the clinic for my official pregnancy bloodtest. I got a call around noon from the fabulous nurse Kris. She is amazing. She said “Congratulations! You’re pregnant!”. Wow…to hear someone else say it and confirm felt wonderful. My beta number was 151. She said it’s a good number and to come back Wednesday morning for a repeat test to make sure my levels are rising. My number should double in 48 hours. We came home and told friends and family who knew we were going through IVF. Of course the reactions were incredible. The feeling of support throughout this journey has been overwhelming. Even in the hardest times, we had people to talk to and vent to.

I went back on Wednesday morning for my repeat bloodtest and that number was 311. It doubled…but barely. The want me to return one more time on Friday for a repeat test. So now we are going to be looking for a number of 622 or better yet, higher. At this point, I’m thinking twins are out of the question. These numbers are very consistent with a singleton pregnancy. But nothing is for sure until an ultrasound which they said should be mid to late next week! So exciting!

So today I’m 4 weeks and 5 days pregnant and I’m due 8/3/13. Six days before Morgan’s 10^th birthday! Morgan is thrilled to have another sibling. She can’t wait to start telling her friends that her mama is pregnant. I just want to wait til at least after the ultrasound to make sure all is good. I can’t wait to hear a heartbeat.

PUPO!

PUPO = Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise

"I'm pregnant and this worked" is what I keep telling myself.

 Couldn't have asked for a better outcome. Out of the 13 fertilized, they transferred 2 absolutely beautiful grade 'A' embryos. They froze 8 other wonderful A/B embryos and 3 remaining to catch up before they freeze them. It really dawned on my that mine look like popcorn So that may stick for their names for now. Here they are in all their glory...

So nothing more to update other than I'm playing princess for the week :-)

This day can't go fast enough

Sitting here at work, trying to keep busy and tie up loose ends. Originally I was only going to take Tuesday and Wednesday off for bed rest, but I just can't get over the thought in my head that I need more time laying around at home. I have this fear that if I stand up, my embryos will fall out of me. LOL...sounds utterly ridiculous and silly, but in all honesty I can't get past that thought.

So I came into work this morning and talked to my boss. I asked if it would be ok to work from home half days each day, Thursday and Friday. She didn't even have to think about it. She said of course! She is super excited for us and said this is a once in a life time shot. She wants to see us succeed. And if it means more bedrest, she is more than happy to provide that for me. We got all mushy and teary eyed. She gave me a hug. I'm so forever thankful that I have the support I need at work. I told her that I know women who are going through what I'm going through and are hiding it from everyone at work. I can't even imagine not telling anyone. If it means more support and prayers, then so be it. I'm not ashamed that we need help conceiving. It's practically an epidemic now a days. 1 out of 6 couples struggle with infertility. So heartbreaking!

 Well, I have a laptop at home and am able to login and do some things while laying down those 2 days. Then it's rest for the rest of the day. Ultimately I will be resting for a total of 6 days. I'm very happy for that opportunity.

Updates tomorrow!

Lucky number 13

We received our fertility report this morning!! I was starting to get nervous right before the call not knowing what to expect. The current stats are:

Out of 16 eggs retrieved
15 eggs were mature
Out of the 15 mature
13 fertilized

We are thrilled beyond words for such a wonderul fert report. Nurse Kris who called me with the good news said that Dr. Singh was also thrilled with the outcome that he was doing a happy dance this morning :-) I just love the staff there. Kris has been such a wonderful person to go through this with. She makes me feel like I'm the only patient of hers going through this (even though I know she is juggling between many). She is so bubbly, caring and just as excited for me as I am for us. I can't ask for a better nurse.

So the waiting continues. There seems to always be a waiting period. They will not check on our embabies until the morning of Tuesday 11/13 for our transfer. Of course the number of fertilized can still change. We may only have 10 that made it to day 3. So you never know. But John and I are thrilled that we were able to initially fertilize any eggs, let alone 13 out of 15. We are super geeked!
I'm supposed to arrive at 6:30am for the 7:30 procedure. They will transfer 2 embryos and I will rest there for about a half hour and then go home and play princess for a few days. My activity needs to be at a minimum for the very best chance that this works. Although I do plan on doing an acupuncture appt that day to help me relax.

As always, I will update with any info I receieve. Peace, Love and Embryos!

Making babies today!

We arrived at the clinic at 6:30am this morning. On our drive there we were both pretty quiet. Tiredness and hunger overcame. As we got closer I looked over at John and said "We're making babies today!". Although we are taking the romance out of the equation, it's still something to look forward to. We have our focus on the results.

They prepped me in my designer gown and footies while they took John back to collect his sample. IV lady blew out my left vein and had to redo the IV in my right arm. I'm gonna have a pretty gnarly bruise on my left arm. I got to meet the Embryologist. She was great. Asking us if there were any special instructions while she watches over our children like no sugar and pop. LOL. I said you make sure you spoil them rotten! I really love all the staff there. After she left I told John that I think she has a pretty awesome job. Creating life! She is playing God. I really think I would thoroughly enjoy doing what she does. Although she was there at 6:30 on a Saturday morning and even on Sundays. But if you love what you do, then it might not be so bad. John said if I go to school to be an Embryologist then he can be a stay at home dad. lol...silly Johnny. So cute.

 I was wheeled into the OR, they started my anesthesia and before I knew it, I'm awake after the procedure. They told me it took about 20 min and they retreived 16 eggs!! I'm very happy with this number.

Now we just wait for our phone call tomorrow mid morning to let us know how many of those eggs were mature and how many fertilized. After that, they don't look at them again until the morning of our transfer, Tuesday.

I'm enjoying my bed rest today drinking lots of Gatorade, V8 and protein such as hard boiled eggs, chicken and mixed nuts. All of these will help prevent OHSS (Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome) and the protein will also help with implantation of the embryo.

Will update tomorrow with our fertility report. Fingers crossed and prayers and positive thoughts always accepted :-)

READY!!

Today brought great news. I’m ready for my trigger shot tonight and have my eggs retrieved on Saturday morning. I’m over the moon excited right now. I’ve had a lot of great energy come over me today and I hope it lasts. I have acupuncture appt scheduled later this afternoon too so that will help.

Tuesday, 11/13, is the BIGGER day. That’s when they will transfer 2 embryos!! I will be considered PUPO (Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise). 2 weeks after transfer date I will have a blood test to confirm pregnancy. I really have nothing else to say as I’m all smiles :-)

Stim day 11

When the doc says every month/cycle is different, they aren't joking. I never thought in a million years that with this much of injectible medication, that I would be still stimming on day 11 with how fast and good I respond to meds in the past. I was thinking egg retrieval (ER) would be like right now. But no, my last appt yesterday showed my 27 follicles are growing, but they are just taking their time.

I'm now up to taking 3 shots a day. 1 in the morning that started Sunday to help suppress the LH hormone that when it increases it makes you ovulate. But we don't want me to ovulate. So I take this injection to suppress that hormone. The other 2 injections I have been taking since day 1 of stims at night. Both of these are for follicle growth. I have a great number of follicles, just slow at responding. There are women on my message board that started stims after me that are already ready for their ER. However, I am on a lower dose of meds than most because I have a higher AMH level. AMH means Anti-Mullerian Hormone. Basically this means my egg quality is great and I have alot of eggs left. This hormone decreases as we get older where we start having poor quality eggs and not alot of them. That's why woman over the age of 35 start having a harder time getting pregnant. This is the "clock ticking" phrase we hear most woman in their 30s say ;-) You learn something new everyday, right?

Not a whole lot more to update. I go back in tomorrow for another scan. I have a feeling that after tomorrow I will be going back everyday instead of every other day like I have been. I am hoping ER will be the end of the this week (possibly weekend).

Poem of truth

I ran across this poem when somone posted it on a message board I belong to. It speaks volumes to me. It's everything that I have ever felt and thought throughout this 3 year long struggle.

I have longed and waited
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured and planned over and over again.
Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.
I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream.
My dream will be crying for me.
I count myself lucky in this sense that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.
Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love.
I will be a better mother for all that I have endured.
I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.
I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.
I have prevailed. I have succeeded. I have won.
So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort.
I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs. I listen. And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely.
I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard.
I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.
I have learned to appreciate life. Yes, I will be a wonderful mother!
~Author Unknown